IMMORTAL -.-'

today i had fun with 

Nico , Tracy , Clinton

Sharon , Anthonia & Jessven :D

we went to Merdeka Mall to watch movie . 

then off to parkson for dinner ;)

aww ~ thanks nico . 

i miss Eli tho . well , almost all

of our outing there SHOULD or MUST have him and Adeline .

ouhhhh ! i really miss them .

so , last saturday was Breaking Dawn with Tracy 

and today is Immortal with all of them .

that movie seriously OHH NOO !

mannn ! it's to 3D . its so anti-religion one .

they kinda don't believe in God . ohhh -.-'

guess who made a lot of noises and funny sound ?

no other than US -.-'

we were like some small kid you know . ohh

so crazy . it was too SCARY that we just make a joke 

out of it to make ourselves calm .

hoho big hit . seriously . but mostly , i had fun . :D

Patience :D

i need to prepare myself for THE WORLD

again -.-'

i guess all i need is patience . 

Maybe i'll sound so mean here but

if i only thinks about other peoples life

and not my own . where do i go next ? 

i may look strong from the outside 

but inside . emm 

no one knows . 

thats the great things of being

a part of a DRAMA's life 

its easier for me to control myself

infront of the others . 

in a few days , few weeks i'll be saying

see you again darl :/

i'll never want to say goodbye . 

i just don't want it to end there . 

and baby's flight to England is this Sunday :(

wish you all the best baby .

Janice Mae . 

p/s : i'm not stable  :'/

just now around 4 i went to sony centre to pick up my 

camera . ohhh how exciting :)

lotsaaa love ,

velen :)

someday i'll say this

why me ? why now ? 

it's 3 something in the morning and i just can't sleep .

since this morning , i just can't stand still .

something just doesn't seem right . 

so now i'm the bad person ? 

i know who i am , indeed i know me . 

but you ? do you know who you are ? to yourself ? to me ?

you don't even get my point don't you ?

hey ! look at me straight in the eye .

i'm SCARED ! i'm scared okay ! i'm so chicken out right now 

that my hands feel like frozen :/

do you know how hard it is for me to build up my trust ? 

ohhh , you won't understand me . 

goshhh , why do it have to be so hard ?

and i though i was the stronger one .

but i just can't face this alone . 

i'm okayy alone . 

it's fine . 

i can't be happy if one person have to suffer . 

it is better if we go our own way . 

This word , up there , i might be saying it out

to you someday . when i have the guts to do so and when i am ready enough to let go . 

things just happen suddenly and i need time . i understand your situation but i'm not a toy that you can hold on where there is no way i'm staying for REAL . get it ? Kbye .

forever or never ?

WHAT EACH KISS MEANS:
- Kiss on the Forehead : We're cute together.
- Kiss on the Cheek : We're friends.
- Kiss on the Hand : I adore you.
- Kiss on the Neck : I want you, now.
- Kiss on the Shoulder : Your perfect.
- Kiss on the Lips : I LOVE YOU.
______________________________

WHAT EACH GESTURE MEANS :
- Holding Hands : We definitely like each other.
- Holding you tight pressed against each other : I want you.
- Looking into each other's eyes : I like you, for who you are.
- Playing with Hair: Let's fool around.
- Arms around the Waist : I like you too much to let go.
- Laughing while Kissing : I am completely comfortable with you.

yeapp , i found this crap at facebook ;)

what crap ? ohh i mean . emm

this 'cute stuff' 

okayy , the thinggy up there . 

true or not ? 

who cares . 

i don't .

i think ? emm

Do you believe in forever ? 

i mean in relationship , family and friends ? 

if you are asking me right now , 

i bet the only thing that i can say now is 

MAYBE :(

sad right ? 

Forever in God and Families . YES !

Forever in RELATIONSHIP with FRIENDS and LOVER . maybe .

why no ? emm 

firstly , friends ? there are many types of friends you can find . 

in this world you can find the bad and good ones . 

no matter how bad they had been to you but they are still called your friends .

there's one proverb that i used to 'USED' before ...

Friendship Never End . 

when time flies , i realize one thing . it does ENDS . 

when you are in primary , MANNN ! they are the best one you can get . 

secondary , you got more friends and yes , they brighten your day . 

getting older ? change friends again -.-' 

well , friendship change as well as people . 

FOREVER we're meant for those who are strong only . 

meaning to say , do not use FOREVER , when you can't keep your promises . 

but whatever happen , they are still your friends . 

no matter how much you hate them now , still they we're once your friends before :)

- what a relief - I wanted to just let this out for MONTHS ! people change , i change but THANKS GOD !  He gave me one friendship that i can yelled out FOREVER :) awww ~ 

secondly , love one ? emm to tell the truth , you change partner a lot by time to time or years . no offense , but this is TRUE ! primary , ohhh kiddy love , secondary , my my my monkey loves :) teenage love and so and so . emm but those who are mature enough can bring this monkey love relationship into a bigger frame of your life . into one marriage :) 

no offense , i seen a lot of these happening . break ups too . emm sadly , you can't really love one person with your whole hearts and desire . God , deserved it better :) sometimes , you may end up doing suicide or fallen apart into one major heart broken diseases. been there done that and mine was ugly . seriously UGLY ! so you all out there , be careful in choosing your partner , think wisely and do not follow only your hearts but the reality of where your relationship will end up to . i mean whether it goes somewhere or just stay there and maybe just end up know where . emm *sigh 

No one said FOREVER is a NEVER . but FOREVER needed someone to be STRONGER first. okay ya'll out there ? i'm trying too here . like what people always say and i do too , it is easier to say but not easy to do . remind me sometimes if i get too carried away okay ? . well , i'm not perfect by the way >.< 

Lotsaa love ,

Velen :)

p/s : do leave comments if you want to . agree or not ? just stated it there . love ya'll :D

It's okay , not to be okay ;)

it's okay not to be okay.

do you ever feel so down but

you just don't want to admit it ? 

why keep it to yourself ? 

it will just hurt you more . 

babe , seriously ,

if you're not okay 

spill it out !

there is no need for you to hide it . 

no matter how good your acting is 

but your eyes can never lie . 

your eyes show the world how 

miserable you can be . 

how much pain had you receive . 

girls , boys its okay to be sad . 

i don't know why am i writing this

but i had enough of seeing jerks that

just won't tell others or at least 

someone they trust what's bothering them . 

why keep when you can reduce the pain ? 

why keep when you can share you burden ?

why keep when you really can't stand alone ? 

ohh why ? 

emm i gonna stop here . 

think about it people :)

spill it out and you'll be smiling soon :)

Lotssssaaa love ,

velen :)

I A M N O T T H A T M E A N . . .

goshh , i am such a horrible child .

Oh Lord , forgive me . 

i did one thing that i shouldn't do :( emm

i need confession . 

im sorry to what happen and yeah 

what happen to 'my best friend'

great ! *sigh 

i love you okay babe ? 

chill will yaaa ? .

ready to let go :)

Let you go :/

Letting go of someone that part of your life 

is ONE major serious pain in the ass . 

it felt like your heart cracked into pieces ,

legs trembles and ouchh ,

everything in you hurts . 

in a few days to come , 

i'm about to let you go .

go from me and my eyes . 

when can i ever see you again ?

you really know how to keep your secret close baby , 

i'm the last person to know and it hurts a lot of knowing that

i'm the only FRIEND that doesn't know . 

i know that i shouldn't be mad at you or something ,

but it just that , i get all messed up . 

i can't control my emotion and the only thing that i can do

it to CRY , cry cry and cry some more . 

we shared every stories in our life . 

knowing you in this 3 years in one of the GREATEST GIFT 

that God had given me . 

i've never met with anyone that had the same birthday dates with me . 

the crazy sarcastic girl like me and yeahh , the one 

who CRY a lot like me . 

Maybe i'm the last person to know because you don't want 

me to be sad or something . 

but knowing the last is the most hurtful feeling that i'd ever felt . 

i'm not trying to blame you or something ,

if i'm in your position now ,

i may do the same thing too . 

despite all of this , i made my mind . 

maybe it's time to let go .

to let you go . 

God bless you :) 

i can't never forget you and yes , i'm so gonna miss you . 

never lose contact okay ? I love you baby :)

May your life to come will be fill with joyful & happiness . 

and be strong in finding your way , life , and God out there okay ?

stay active too baby . i don't want to shade another tears for you , 

because you're not going FOREVER . lets not say goodbye , but say 

see you again :) we still have our sister bond babyyy ! :D ouhhh , yeah !

Janice Mae :) 

lots of love ,

velen ;)

I'm trying AGAIN :)

Forgiving someone means that we find the strength to go beyond 

ourselves to a place that helps us see those who have hurt 

us in a new way. That's never easy right ? 

i just CAN'T FORGIVE ! 

i'm TRYING here :/

today , i just went for confession . 

sadly , few minutes before confession started , 

we had our own truth talk -.-'

we're so BAD :/

i just don't know what to do sometimes .

i'm not even sure if i can face this person ever in my life . 

its nothing so serious actually , but , emm

like what others always say ,

THE SCARS REMAINS !

I prayed and prayed .

and now i'm ready to face it .

god will give me strength along the way . 

i'll have to brave myself to face those people in my life . 

no one can live peacefully in their life with a heart 

full of hatred . right ? 

i know so . 

well , i'm kinda been there done that :D

so yeahh , good luck for me ;) 

Lotssssaaa love ,

velen :)

Last Saturday

the guys :)

-pretending as if it was wine . hahaha

manda & Gabby :)

- they are just friends . close one ;)

velen & Tay:)

- secretary & the head prefect .

Last Saturday was the prefect's dinner for the old batch :)
it was fun tho kinda in rush in doing everything .
but , who care by the way .
the seniors had fun .
we had this one little trick .
a little suprise i might say . hahaha
we had an apple mac book as a grad prize .
but actually it was only an apple + book that had MAC written on it ;D
everyone was laughing like hell !

the first game was feed the baby . 

seriously it was so hillarious . 

the teachers and prefects can't stop laughing .

some of the 'baby' were dancing while drinking their bottle . 

ommggg ! and steward was doing some crazy moves -.-'

moses ? he just can't stop moving till cicil had to really push the bottle in his mouth . 

adila and journal was the only couples that calm down . 

Loretta & Vernon ? ohhh ! they are just crazy ! hahaha

when Lore , found out that steward almost finish his drink .

She push Vernon head and his mouth together to the bottle .

she forced him to drink as fast as he could . GILA ! 

hahahahaha that was so funny till i can't even stand straight there . 

adila & neil was the king and queen of the night :)

see , their clothe matches ! aww ~

i made the right choice :P hahaha

me , mdm jane & mdm tang decided to choose them both .

Since out theme was dress like a star ,

they really do pose and act like one that night . 

i called them bella and edward . 

since the tittle of the dinner was

Twilight Gala Night :D

our prefect batch perform this during the night . 

AWESOME MANNN !

philip rock ! :D

tired of story telling today . emm so yeahh good night peeps ! 

ohh happy all saints day :D

and tomorrow all souls day . 

p/s : i miss you . 

i've been sleeping from 6 to 8 pm . the 8.30 to 10 pm . then to 3 am . 

i woke up to study a bit and do some homework . guess what ? i sleep again -.-' 

4.40 am i woke up again then take bath and so on . then in the van around 5.20 am 

i sleep again till i reach school by 5.45 am -.-' 

sleepy head . 

but today . emm 

i CAN'T SLEEP !

uhh !

lotsaaa love ,

velen :)